


The Abduction of Miss Amy Bradshaw by the Most Wicked and Uncouth Captain Lucy Diamanda

by aunt_zelda



Category: D.E.B.S. (2004)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Pirate, F/F, Femslash Yuletide, Kidnapping, Misses Clause Challenge, Pirates, Roleplay, Yuletide 2017, Yuletide Treat
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-24
Updated: 2017-12-24
Packaged: 2019-02-19 12:36:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 777
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13123857
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aunt_zelda/pseuds/aunt_zelda
Summary: Heiress Amy Bradshaw, after completing her education at Mrs. Petrie’s Finishing School for Young Ladies, has been kidnapped by pirates! And not just any pirates, oh no. She has been kidnapped by the wicked Captain Lucy Diamanda. A vile, wretched, monstrous woman, she routinely slaughters whole ship crews and leaves their bodies for the gulls. Poor virginal Miss Bradshaw’s days as a captive of Captain Diamanda are surely few, for the Captain is certain to not show mercy even to a fellow member of her sex. Indeed, “mercy” is a word Captain Diamanda is unlikely to even know!





	The Abduction of Miss Amy Bradshaw by the Most Wicked and Uncouth Captain Lucy Diamanda

**Author's Note:**

  * For [RecessiveJean](https://archiveofourown.org/users/RecessiveJean/gifts).



> How could I resist a pirate AU? Hope you like this little treat fic.

This is what the broadsheets say and the criers cry. 

Heiress Amy Bradshaw, after completing her education at Mrs. Petrie’s Finishing School for Young Ladies, has been kidnapped by pirates! And not just any pirates, oh no. She has been kidnapped by the wicked Captain Lucy Diamanda. A vile, wretched, monstrous woman, she routinely slaughters whole ship crews and leaves their bodies for the gulls. Poor virginal Miss Bradshaw’s days as a captive of Captain Diamanda are surely few, for the Captain is certain to not show mercy even to a fellow member of her sex. Indeed, “mercy” is a word Captain Diamanda is unlikely to even know! 

~*~

“You wicked woman!” Amy Bradshaw declares, standing on the deck of the ship among a throng of terrified passengers. “How dare you harass this ship and her crew!” Clad in blue and white, the lady standing like a beacon of righteous fury. She is the very picture of innocence.

By contrast, Captain Lucy Diamanda is the very picture of sin. She wears men’s garments, trousers and shirt, and a sash at her waist into which she has thrust several pistols. A sword hangs at her side. The hat upon her head is broad and casts a shadow over her smirking face and glinting eyes. Truly she is a terror to behold. 

“How dare I?” Captain Diamanda draws her sword, to the horror of all assembled. “How dare you speak to me that way!” she darts forward, touching the tip of her sword to Miss Bradshaw’s décolletage. 

Miss Bradshaw’s breath catches, but she does not shriek or faint. She stands firmly against the vicious pirate. “I am not afraid of you, Captain,” she practically spits the word. “I see that you wish to be feared, but I will not give you the satisfaction!”

“Is that a promise, girl?” Captain Diamanda grins rakishly. “I’ve broken strong Navy men, had them weeping for their mamas in a week. I’ll have no trouble doing the same to you in half the time.”

Suddenly Captain Diamanda seizes Miss Bradshaw, and hauls her across the decks. “Does my pretty prize have a name?”

“I’ll tell you nothing!” Miss Bradshaw promises. 

“You’ll tell me everything I want to know,” Captain Diamanda drags Miss Bradshaw over the gangplanks and onto the pirate deck. “I swear it by the sea!”

Miss Bradshaw breaks free and slaps Captain Diamanda across the face. 

The crowd of terrified passengers gasps in horror.

“Now you’ve done it.” Captain Diamanda tosses Miss Bradshaw over her shoulder and hauls her into what can only be the Captain’s cabin. 

And that is the last anyone in the civilized world sees of Miss Amy Bradshaw. 

~*~

Inside the cabin is nothing like the lurid imaginings of the passengers or the broadsheet authors. Though perhaps that is all for the best. 

“Why did you truss yourself up in this fine mess if you knew I’d be coming to seize you?” Lucy asks, wrestling with the lacings of Amy’s dress. 

“It’s very fashionable in London!” Amy whines, doing her best to assist Lucy. 

“I’d just as soon have you now, hike up these skirts and have done, but I’ve been dreaming of your bosom,” Lucy sighs heavily. “So, the dress must come off before we are to proceed.”

“Aye aye, Captain,” Amy salutes as best she can, one arm wrenched behind her back and trying to release herself from her garments. 

“Damn right.” Lucy grins, and slides a hand up Amy’s thigh. “I’m an impatient creature, as you know.”

“Yes,” Amy whimpers. “You were supposed to take me a fortnight from now, off the coast of the Carolinas. What changed?”

“The winds. The weather. My mind.” Lucy buries her face in the crook of Amy’s neck. “I missed you, Miss Bradshaw.”

“And I missed you,” Amy sighs, then squeaks, as Lucy’s fingers find their way beneath her undergarments. “Get me out of this infernal dress and I’ll show you just how much I missed you!”

~*~

In the ensuing years there are stories of a pair of pirate queens. They fight the Navy, evade capture, and vanish into the mists of time with a pile of gold. Coincidentally, Captain Lucy Diamanda never slays another soul, and Miss Amy Bradshaw is never heard from again. 

Rumors spread of a school for young ladies, founded by two “sisters” not long after this. A school which teaches its students methods of telling falsehoods, outwitting their enemies, self-preservation, and even the art of war. It is said that they administer a test to their students, and only accept the most devious of ladies among their ranks. 

But that is a story for another day.


End file.
